DIARY OF A TAXI DRIVER

Back in the cab after about a month off. It feels good to be back on the road, out here in the dark, working to keep silly, pretty, drunken people out of trouble, using my powers for the good of the city at large.

Some highlights from the night so far:
- being flirted with by girls heading out to the bar: always an ego boost.
- cranking zz top and rush to 50 on the stereo for some chill bros. the sytem in this cab has an amp and fuckin bumps. I gotta listen to my music that loud more often.
- spotting a pretty girl drunkenly flailing on Broad St and coming to her aid. she mighta sorta fallen in love with me: I had to brush off a serious proposition, which made me feel good and wholesome. trouble would certainly have found this girl if I hadn't come along. I'm always happy to help get lonely, drunken people home safely.

-- Post From Taxi

THE LAST TWO DAYS:

- Speed/Crack Dealer and Girlfriend.

4:30PM Approached the pickup at Mayfair Mall to find the crack dealer arguing with another cabbie, bags from Foot Locker swaying as he gesticulated. Other cabbie came over and said "don't take these people, they spit in my cab." Crack dealer and girlfriend entered my taxi. He was wearing a brand new Ghetto Life bomber and two new ball caps, carrying six new pairs of shoes. She had tattoos on her face and was tossing hundreds around like they were paper. They explained that they spit on the other cabbie's steering wheel because he drove by them without stopping. They were confused.

We endured the Wendy's drive through. They both bought ridiculous meals with stupid, specific omissions and substitutions, accompanied by ice cream milkshakes. Upon receipt of the meals, the male began consuming the milkshake with his index finger, pausing to smear some on his girlfriend's face. This taxi driver was nearly overcome with revulsion.

They received change for their hundred and Wendy's, and tipped badly once at their destination.

- Late night John and Trick

3:30AM My first John. "Drive down Government Street," he said, "I want to find a broad." We took a tour of the prostitution areas. There were no prostitutes on the streets. We made a second pass. We drove uptown, then back down all of Pandora below Cook street, finally spotting a female prostitute at the corner of Government and Discovery. There we also saw what appeared to be a pimp, and a hot trans-sexual prostitute. The female prostitute entered the taxi.

A negotiation ensued between the John and the prostitute. Prices were settled upon. We stopped at 7-11 for a pop for the prostitute. We continued to the destination. "Another crazy night," she said. A parting shot: "you're good looking."

- Cheap Hippie

Two males entered the taxi in downtown at 2:35am, bound for Esquimalt. At the destination, one male attempted to pay by Interac. 'Transmission Error.' He attempted to leave the cab. I began moving to keep him from exiting. A heated conversation ensued:

Him: "It's not MY fault your machine isn't working."

Me: "I'll give you a free ride to the bank machine and back. If you leave without paying, I'll have to call the cops."

Him: "It's not my FAULT..."

The customer exited the taxi. Police were called. The customer ran drunkenly down the block as I followed. He tried to hide in a driveway. The 911 operator advised me not to start an altercation, as "people are carrying weapons these days." The customer hid behind a fence.

Police soon arrived. They could not locate the suspect.

"He's booked it," said the portly male officer.

- Fun After Party

3:00AM Some friends threw a late night party at the 50/50. I dropped off my taxi and proceeded to the location. It was fun. I drank a beer and unwound after trying to get that guy arrested not a half-hour earlier.

This guy is an artist, and was at the party: